Ye olde traps of tradition

Okay, so no lists.  Today was busy and social with lunch and ice cream cake with Jen's grandfather for his 88th birthday, shopping for a gold lame' pencil skirt, a late-afternoon nap, and attacking a pile of dirty dishes.  But one of the things I enjoy about doing dishes (especially when Jen's napping and things are quiet) is that I get to listen to episodes of "This American Life" on the iPhone that are always interesting and informative.  I listened to their October 2009 stories on the U.S. health-care debate and in the midst of getting irritated at how so many facets of American culture conspire to keep screwing it up (Americans think more is better, doctors are afraid of lawsuits and discouraged from limiting services, insurance companies know they can't keep raising overhead), I thought about how the health care experience might be less crafty and shady different in Canada, but that to what extent it will be, I have no real idea.  That brought me to the computer to get started on Sallie Mae, another entity that I've never had to deal with.

I am proudly over-prepared for many things and part of me wants this to be no exception, though I'm trying to let some mellowing of age show through and just let more things happen, since five months from now is still a long way away.  (I remember after I interviewed at the U of M's Carlson School last year and asked about financial aid, the student I was paired with for my class visit - who was only taking a concurrent JD/MBA program - said "just apply in August and it'll come through when it comes through.")  So in that spirit I decided to get started with my Sallie Mae application and wandered into the Stafford loan section, but didn't get much further than my biographic information, as my mortgage background has at least prepared me for what "sign the promissory note" and other things mean.  No reason to have to figure all of this out on a chill Saturday (temperature and otherwise).  But a couple of things already have me a little tweaked: first, even at nearly 38 years old, I have to list two people as credit references.  Not my credit union, where I've had accounts in good standing for over half of my life, but "two separate adult references with different U.S. addresses who have known [me] for at least three years."  Presumably, with no financial expertise expected, these are the people whom Sallie Mae will first hound if I don't pay up starting in August of 2012 when I'll be three months past my expected graduation date.  But the online system won't advance the screens until I enter this information, so anticipating that applicants will either want to bypass this or won't be sure of whose names to put down, the buttons to choose from at the bottom are Next and Save For Later.  And innocently, the system says "the first reference should be a parent (if living) or legal guardian."

Hmm.

I'd rather not list either of my parents as credit references.  More online sleuthing will soon commence to see what I should really expect, but what if I'm not allowed to get creative with the word "should" above?  Is this system so archaic, still?  And what if my parents had bad credit (which they don't)?  Would I qualify for less if I had the simple bad luck of being born to a current or former deadbeat?  I know I'm lucky to have been able to complete my undergrad degree on the cheap, so that I haven't had to deal with this before, but there is definitely a Star Chamber-esque quality already making itself felt, even as I only dip my toe in the water.


One of the advantages of planning ahead is that figuring things out allows them time to sink in and positively alter strategy.  I'd already disregarded my school's recommendation to first seek out the Sallie Mae Smart Option Student Loan Program, as I shouldn't have to have a co-signer with my credit history and higher FICO score, and we are in an age where resources are out there, even in a stank economy, that I can find if I just look in the right places.  Or who knows, maybe Sallie Mae'll have a customer service line that can answer these questions.  (Pausing for laughter.  Funny how I don't trust giant financial institutions after having worked for one for four of the last five years.)

I try to dig further, but having started things a bit before 10pm CST and that time now having passed, I've entered the "system is unavailable at this time due to routine maintenance" time of the day.  Exhale, close eyes, facepalm.

So, fuckin' A, on to FAFSA, eh?